@SarcasticRover: This Is Why Mars Can’t Have Nice Things


Seeing as I’m not the first gullible, yet brilliant, robot that NASA has conned into exploring the stars, I am often asked for my opinion about the various machines who have come before me, be they tiny little bots like the Mars rover Sojourner, or all-consuming planet-eaters like Unicrom. And usually I say no.

However, tomorrow being the tenth anniversary of the Mars rover Spirit’s arrival on the red planet, I feel compelled to offer a few words about the rover that came before me, a rover that I never knew.

First off, let’s be clear, I come to praise Spirit — not to bury it. This being Mars, the dust storms have probably buried it by now anyway. No, I speak only because 10 years after its arrival, and almost four years now since it was last heard from, Spirit remains both a mystery and an answer in some…

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